The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

News 2020

All the latest, very early

Media professionals were celebrating this evening after their heroic activities brought about the resignation of a senior Cabinet minister. The embattled Minister of Freedom, David Blunted, threw in the towel today after weeks of battling to keep his job in the wake of revelations about his private life.

"This is the kind of thing a free Press is all about," exulted Daily Telegraph correspondent Thorogood Honeydew this evening. Mr Honeydew, along with 47 other correspondents in fifteen different newspapers, first broke the story about Mr Blunted using his influence as a minister to gain preferential treatment for himself and his family from a number of public organisations.

The specific issue over which Mr Blunted resigned has not yet been announced, but it is thought to be connected with allegations that he intervened personally to ensure preferential treatment for an immigrant au pair belonging to his mistress. The au pair's application to enter the country was allegedly fast-tracked by Mr Blunted so that she spent barely a month in offshore processing facilities and was even allowed to keep some personal belongings.

"This is precisely the sort of conduct which results in unacceptably high rates of asylum seeker inundation and possible terrorist activity," said opposition spokesman Bunter Davies tonight. "The British press has once again proved its worth by exposing this dangerous scandal," Mr Davies said.

Mr Blunted's successor as Minister of Freedom will be the Secretary of Human Resource Utilisation, Pruitt Blean. Mr Blean announced six days ago that, should Mr Blunted be forced to resign, his programme of increased identity cards, new anti-terrorist measures and constant vigilance on asylum seekers would be carried forward without interruption.

"It's days like this that make being in the media business all worth while," said BBC reporter Raxton Proctoid this evening. "It's the one single thing that matters most to all of us - seeing things change for the better and knowing you made the difference."

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home