The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

News 2020

Futures traders wishing to profit unfairly from the revelations contained herein are invited to apply to the reporter with appropriate incentives

The US oral comfort manufacturer, Larding & Happikid, says it will sue the children's television network, Murdoch Disney Infantile, for breach of contract. L&H claims that one of the TV channel's shows "fostered an atmosphere of consumer resistance" in the target audience.

Larding & Happikid says that it bought 144 hours of prime advertising time (approximately four weeks' worth) from Murdoch Disney for a new confectionary product called the Clusterbomb.

"The Clusterbomb is basically a large sweet with a lot of little sweets inside it," said sales executive Lycra Fondue. "The advertisement was one we're all very proud of, showing kids eating these sweets and finding them so delicious their arms and legs flew off into the air."

The company alleges that Murdoch Disney Infantile broadcast some of the advertisements during an "oldie" programme which, through "avoidable negligence" on the part of the TV company, garnered "undue and undeserved attention and enthusiasm" from its impressionable juvenile audience.

"There's no doubt in our minds that the show played a significant part in distracting the kids from the virtues of our product," Ms Fondue said. "We've even heard rumours of some kids actually being annoyed at the commercial breaks, and displaying symptoms of contentment when the show interrupted."

Murdoch Disney says it will contest the claim. "The idea that a responsible television network would ever act in a fashion contrary to the interests of its advertisers is simply ridiculous," said spokesperson Byron Silkworm.

The title of the children's programme in question will remain confidential until the trial, and any subsequent lawsuit by Murdoch Disney against the makers, have been concluded.

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