The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

The Satanic Supplement

Bank Holiday,n. Religious festival in honour of England's sterling saint.

Evacuate,v.t. To remove from endangered areas all those whose violent public demise might make war seem less palatable.

Family,n. One of the many convenient pretexts for dismissal from Cabinet employment.

Justice,n. Process of discovering the margin by which those crimes outlined in a suspect's confession outweigh those committed in its extraction.

Nonaclembit,adj. Not quite properly aligned.
She could see, thanks to his over-tight trousers, that no matter how invitingly his buttocks might wiggle, they were still noticeably nonaclembit.
Maura Skiffelbrunk


Pulverise,v.t. To reduce to dust. Not to be confused with Publicise, to reduce to rubbish.

Quibble,v.i. To raise a pertinent objection without having force at your disposal.

Self-determination,n. The right of a people or nation to kill and rob one another, instead of having these services performed for them by an imperial benefactor.

Tourist,n. Someone who adds to the market value of a country's attractions by paying for the privilege of helping to ruin them.

Worn-out,adj. Any argument which lacks the courtesy to remove itself from your attention, even in the face of your repeated and persistent failure to refute it.

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