The Satanic Supplement

Attractive,adj. Having sufficient money, charm and good looks to be considered "caring with a sense of humour".

Cavil,v.i. To raise objections of a nature merely ethical.

Fudge,n. Staple diet of political journalism; hence the preponderance in that profession of belly-achers with no teeth.

Inhumanity,n. That which distinguishes us from the animals.

Head,n. Organ with which we deceive others.

Heart,n. Organ with which we allow others to deceive us.

Memory,n. That part of the mind set aside for the storage of grudges.

Quail,v.i. To tremble, after the fashion of a bird sent by Jehovah among the Israelites in the desert to be slaughtered for its meat. Who wouldn't?

Shock,n. A species of surprise, frequently occasioned by electricity or bodily injury, and sometimes professed as a reaction to the sins of others.
While driving at night, Mrs Bender
Once put a large dent in her fender;
For she saw a huge toad,
Standing right in the road,
In stockings and black silk suspender.
Rev. Wibley Beamish

Unelected,adj. A politician who has yet to break a promise.