The Satanic Supplement

Austere,adj. Descriptive of any governmental measures which repress the fundamental human right to gorge oneself into oblivion.

Crime,n. The sin of the helpless, the error of the privileged and the privilege of the powerful.

Evolution,n. A series of organic changes resulting from natural contingencies and ending in a positive outcome, e.g. mankind. Not under any circumstances to be confused with sheer accident.

Hope,n. The last and most insidious resident of Pandora’s box. Having opened the box out of feminine curiosity, and inadvertently released all the troubles of the world, Pandora hurriedly closed the lid; Hope was still trapped inside, but persuaded Pandora to release her also. Apparently it did not occur to Pandora to wonder why Hope had been imprisoned among the world’s troubles. Perhaps Pandora did not read the sports news; or perhaps Hope’s victory over her less beautiful but more faithful rival Truth was less famous in Pandora’s day than in our own.

Knurgle,v.t. To punch in the throat so that a satisfyingly mortal gurgle ensues.
The knurgling turned his Adam's apple instantly to bubbling cider.
Rambo Yibbletweak

Maxim,n. A slogan with long words.

Original,n. A plagiarism whose source is lost to history.

Regrettable,adj. Any suffering which is neither an enemy's (cf. laudable) nor one's own (cf. inexcusable).

Scrotum,n. Self-loading magazine of the mammalian love gun; suitable mostly for small-arms, rarely repeaters.

Unwritten,adj. Any law or rule which can be invoked and revoked according to personal convenience.