The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

News 2020

Latest nonglamorisability list published

The Ministry of Perspective has published its quarterly revisions of the nonglamorisability league tables, setting out the degree to which various aggressive, violent, and terroristic acts are legally nonglamorisable.

There are few surprises in the new league table. 14 previously aggressive acts have been reclassified as violent; 29 previously violent acts have been reclassified as terroristic and 23 as aggressive; 17 previously terroristic acts have been reclassified as aggressive and 6 as violent. Additions to the new league table include 12 new aggressive acts, 31 new violent acts and 18 new terroristic acts.

The Government has not yet introduced the new classification "potentially violent" which was approved by Parliament two months ago. The new offence of incitement to potential violence, which is described as a "preventive measure", will probably come into force next year, when the Government has decided whether 12 lashes or 21 lashes constitutes an appropriate penalty.

The Government is also thought to be considering new league tables of "acts of positivity", the favourable depiction of which could be made compulsory for writers and broadcasters. Examples are thought to include toughness on crime, toughness on the causes of crime, international democratisation, rapid and efficient asylum seeker processing, the war on drugs and being British.

Separate league tables classifying fictitious acts of violence, as depicted in films and television, will be published later in the year. The Government has denied engaging in censorship, saying that films and programmes will not actually be cut, even if the makers and broadcasters are prosecuted for incitement to nastiness.

"As always, the Government's aim has been to augment clarity enhancement as an aid to helping public and media make the right choice out of available choices in their utilisation of free speech," said Ministry spokesperson Peveril Wisser.

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