The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

News 2020

Britain to withdraw troops from Middle East

The Prime Minister has announced that British troops will be withdrawn from the Middle East "when the world has been made safe for every hard-working family to have a share".

Although he refused to be "tied down to nit-picking pedanticalities" such as specific designated points in the earth's "orbit", the Prime Minister did say that with proper co-operation from the natives and public respect for law and order at home, world salvation could be achieved in "in the fullness of time".

"Britain will never cut and run while there are irons in the fire," he added. "Too many bridges have been burned for us to pour cold water on the democratic aspirations in which so much blood and treasure has been responsibly invested."

The leader of the opposition, Boris Johnson, welcomed the Prime Minister's announcement but condemned the Prime Minister's announcement.

"Of course it's good news for those suffering from the shortage of police and strike-breakers that the soldiers are coming home," Mr Johnson said. "But until this country has done its whole duty, it is madness and degeneracy to suggest that the region should be deprived of so much as a single international democratisation operative."

Mr Johnson's party, the NuConLib Alliance, has been an energetic opponent of the British military presence in the Middle East, although energetically supporting the British military presence in the Middle East.

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