The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Britain, Awaken

The Fabian Society has contributed yet another convolution to the writhing debate about what it means to be British. Apparently we run the risk of "creating a divided society" in place of the egalitarian paragon presently in operation, unless we learn to "promote a positive image of what Britishness means and adapt its institutions to reflect new realities".

Among the institutions mentioned is that "national symbol" of our as-yet-undivided society, the royal family. The coronation ceremony, says the Fabian Society, "should be revised now to reflect a more democratic mood and include a multi-faith oath". The Fabian Society also proposes "a religious equality act, which would not remove the privileges of the Church of England so much as share them with other faiths and denominations." Just what we need - a citizen monarch who will not only head the Church of England, but will serve as imam, rabbi, pope and Jedi Master as required. Hard-headed practicality is a very British virtue.

In addition, schools must be made less segregated by "instilling a stronger national curriculum for all schools, including faith schools". I wonder if it occurred to anyone in Britain's oldest political think tank that faith schools are necessarily discriminatory, according to whatever faith they happen to promulgate, and that therefore any attempt to make faith schools less segregated would result in a lack of faith schools?

We also need to invest more money in "fortifying a British Muslim identity" which will give Muslims a leg-up and enable the poor things to identify "emotionally and politically" with this country, once we have managed to identify it ourselves. A concept of Britishness which inclusifies Muslimity, negritude, Asiaticality and other forms of immigrantiness is a vital step forward if we are to avoid creating a new and strange society in which ethnicity is perceived as somehow interfering with nationality.

"There are omissions which are painfully obvious and which could easily be put right," argues a leading historian of British identity. "Why, for instance, are all the people on the British banknotes always white?" It might be because non-white Britons are a fairly recent phenomenon, and connected less with past glories than with the ignominious demise of the Empire. Since I am not aware that Charles Darwin, Charles Dickens, Michael Faraday, the Duke of Wellington or any of the others so portrayed made any substantial contribution to the Bank of England, I have never really understood the need to depict historical personages on banknotes at all.

Still, according to Michael White, "86% of people are proud to be British", and this despite the fact that only about 1% of people actually are. People still identify with our "traditions of justice and innovation" - another regrettable sign of a Britain stuck in the past, lost in a senile dream of Magna Carta, habeas corpus, the rule of law, and a pioneering national health service which didn't have to poach its staff from the Third World. Britain, awaken - those days are long gone.

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