The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

The Hutton Prescription

The Department of Human Resource Efficientiation is taking an interest in medicine. Tuesday will see the launch of a green paper by the Work and Pension-cuts Secretary, John Hutton, proposing financial rewards for doctors who "encourage" sick patients back to work. This is called "plans to reform the welfare state".

A source at the Ministry said that "As we are going to be starting employment advisers in surgeries, that is going to create much stronger links between the world of work and GPs", doctors not having much to do with the world of work at the moment. John Hutton is expected to argue that "it is crucial to the well-being of the long-term sick that they are offered opportunities to work if they can".

Naturally, whether or not people are capable of availing themselves of these opportunities can hardly be determined by the people themselves. "Private firms could run the programmes locally", employed by fiscally incentivised general practitioners and "city leaders told they can keep part of any savings made from getting lone parents or the long-term sick back to work".

Everybody knows that "single mothers on benefits" are a sickness, so they will be expected "to seek work once their children reach secondary school age" - which is to say that single mothers will have to seek work when their youngest child reaches the age of eleven. "They will have to attend work-focused interviews, but will not be forced to take jobs"; if they do not wish to face work, they can always "face having their payments cut" instead. If they haven't got a man about the house, that's their problem.

The savings from these noble enterprises will be "channelled back to local councils to spend on other services", doubtless including those private firms who will run the programmes locally. Given their proven ineptitude with trains and timetables, perhaps the artists formerly known as Railtrack might care to try their skills in the field of human resource motivation.

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