The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

News 2020

Muslims offended - no casualties yet

Muslim leaders have reacted with fury to the shadow Home Secretary's warning that Britain will soon be facing a "cultural crisis of unprecedented proportionality" unless the country's human resources stop insisting on the practice of voluntary apartheid.

David Davidson-Davies, speaking in chorus with the Minister for Culture 'N' Sports 'N' Stuff, said that Britain had become "socio-culturally fragmentised" owing to members of the public failing to engage with national aspirations as represented in Westminster and the business community.

Although Muslims were often justifiably accused of integrative non-application, even genuinely British people "might benefit from examining their conscience on this issue", Mr Davidson-Davison said.

In a controversial statement which is sure to provoke controversy, Mr Davison-Davis implied that voluntary apartheid was even more highly developed among the truly British.

"Of course, it's very easy to detect Muslim non-integrativity because of the way they dress," he said. "And the fact that no Muslim has ever bothered to become leader of a major political party is proof of the fact that they still have a long, hard road to furrow before they can be said to have blended adequately into the national background."

But he continued on to continue that many non-Muslim groups, such as "young people, old people, those on low incomes, those suffering from so-called health problems, those who disenliven the housing market by failing to own a second home and so forth", also tended to define themselves as separate from society in general.

"If such people are permitted to associate with their own kind to a degree approaching excessive exclusivity, the only possible result can be a cultural crisis of unprecedented proportionality which may well end in the apocalyptic dawn of a bloodstained sunset for the Union Jack," Mr Davies-Davidson said.

Muslim leaders have expressed "disappointment and disgust" at the shadow Home Secretary's comments, but no deaths have been reported so far.

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