The Human Touch
It's a pity that this story is one of those which "emerged", as the journalese hath it, rather than coming from a named human being. Doubtless the idea is to protect the source; a singularly redundant precaution in this case, since the source is quite obviously the Minister of Unfitness for Purpose himself.
What has emerged is this: David Hicks, one of the Bush administration's longest-standing guests at the Guantánamo Bay anomaly, is a Muslim convert who has the misfortune to be a native of Australia. It's a misfortune because the government of Australia has been headed for the past ten years by John Howard, who is a Thatcherite, an enthusiastic Warrior on Terror and asylum-seeker basher, an expresser of Deep-Sorrow-Without-Apology for the derelictions of past generations and an insouciant breaker of "rock solid, ironclad commitments" to his electorate. Senior British judges ordered the Minister of Unfitness for Purpose to grant Hicks British citizenship, partly because they thought it his best chance for getting out of Guantánamo and partly, no doubt, because the Howard experience meant Hicks would experience minimal difficulties adjusting to life in the Vicar of Downing Street's parish.
Hicks' American lawyer - a member of the US military, no less - says that Hicks has "been mistreated, ranging from physical to emotional abuse", and that Hicks' supposed confession to MI6 of terrorist associations is unreliable, despite having been extracted after sustained torture; but of course lawyers will say anything - Tony and his good lady excepted, as always. Accordingly, the Minister of Unfitness for Purpose, with the scrupulous respect for the law that has characterised Home Secretaries from Michael Howard through David Blunkett to Charles Clarke, did award British citizenship to Hicks. Then, once more in the brilliant tradition of his predecessors, he invoked "special powers" a couple of hours later, and took it away again. He wrote personally to Hicks informing him that he (Hicks, that is, not the Minister) posed "a threat to the national security of the United Kingdom and that to deprive you of your British citizenship is conducive to the public good".
Hence the obvious fact that this story emerged directly from the Minister himself. On the fifth anniversary of the anomaly's Grand Opening, and on a day when his department is facing renewed difficulties which have already provoked the doom-laden "full confidence of Mr Blair" and may yet necessitate the sacrifice of a junior or two, there could hardly be a more opportune time to show us, once again, with what endearing cheek he can cut through the fustian of stodgy legalism; to remind us, once again, that his special powers of cranial lignification and ethical incorporeality are a match for any judge in the country; and to prove, just in case we didn't know it, that despite his advancing years he has a sense of humour as youthful and active as any happy-go-lucky teenager who ever kicked away a blind person's cane or tied a firework to an animal's tail.
What has emerged is this: David Hicks, one of the Bush administration's longest-standing guests at the Guantánamo Bay anomaly, is a Muslim convert who has the misfortune to be a native of Australia. It's a misfortune because the government of Australia has been headed for the past ten years by John Howard, who is a Thatcherite, an enthusiastic Warrior on Terror and asylum-seeker basher, an expresser of Deep-Sorrow-Without-Apology for the derelictions of past generations and an insouciant breaker of "rock solid, ironclad commitments" to his electorate. Senior British judges ordered the Minister of Unfitness for Purpose to grant Hicks British citizenship, partly because they thought it his best chance for getting out of Guantánamo and partly, no doubt, because the Howard experience meant Hicks would experience minimal difficulties adjusting to life in the Vicar of Downing Street's parish.
Hicks' American lawyer - a member of the US military, no less - says that Hicks has "been mistreated, ranging from physical to emotional abuse", and that Hicks' supposed confession to MI6 of terrorist associations is unreliable, despite having been extracted after sustained torture; but of course lawyers will say anything - Tony and his good lady excepted, as always. Accordingly, the Minister of Unfitness for Purpose, with the scrupulous respect for the law that has characterised Home Secretaries from Michael Howard through David Blunkett to Charles Clarke, did award British citizenship to Hicks. Then, once more in the brilliant tradition of his predecessors, he invoked "special powers" a couple of hours later, and took it away again. He wrote personally to Hicks informing him that he (Hicks, that is, not the Minister) posed "a threat to the national security of the United Kingdom and that to deprive you of your British citizenship is conducive to the public good".
Hence the obvious fact that this story emerged directly from the Minister himself. On the fifth anniversary of the anomaly's Grand Opening, and on a day when his department is facing renewed difficulties which have already provoked the doom-laden "full confidence of Mr Blair" and may yet necessitate the sacrifice of a junior or two, there could hardly be a more opportune time to show us, once again, with what endearing cheek he can cut through the fustian of stodgy legalism; to remind us, once again, that his special powers of cranial lignification and ethical incorporeality are a match for any judge in the country; and to prove, just in case we didn't know it, that despite his advancing years he has a sense of humour as youthful and active as any happy-go-lucky teenager who ever kicked away a blind person's cane or tied a firework to an animal's tail.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home