The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Monday, September 03, 2007

VB Day

British forces have withdrawn undefeated from Basra, thanks to the Iraqi militias, who have kindly stopped shooting at them since they "released about 30 gunmen a few months ago and spread the word that they would soon withdraw". The Glorious Successor was at pains to emphasise that the withdrawal was "pre-planned and organised", as presumably was the American evacuation of Saigon, and therefore not a defeat. The number of British troops will remain at the present level for the time being in case the sovereign, independent Iraqi government orders them to "reintervene". The minister for Iraq's sovereign, independent defence forces said he was "certain that the security situation will be much better" than the steadily improving quagmire we have seen developing over the past fifty-four months, now that British forces are available as "backup" to the sovereign, independent Iraqi forces, rather than as a freedomising, flower-pelted crusade as originally planned and organised. The Glorious Successor has proclaimed that, in the light of this glorious victory, "we are staying to discharge our obligations to the Iraqi people and the international community", although the extent of the reparations and the dates of Tony Blair's trial and his own do not appear to have been specified.

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