The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Argumental Positivity, Mantle-Oriented Relishingness

The Fabian Society, whose chair is Brown's Balls, has suggested to the Glorious Successor that, if he wants to retain the few thousand votes in the few dozen marginal seats on which his overall majority in Parliament depends, it might be a good idea if he pulled his finger out. "'The government's autumn horribilis has made Gordon Brown the underdog", according to an article in the Fabian Review by the society's general secretary. The missing disks, the almost-election and the donations scandal have outweighed Gordon's chief advantage, namely that of not being Tony Blair. Nevertheless, on less important matters, such as policy, "they are doing pretty well - changing the school leaving age, the Children's Plan - but have not painted the full picture". Gordon's present unpopularity has nothing to do with, for example, pay awards that don't keep up with inflation, the threat to extend internment to six weeks, the investment in green technology like the new Heathrow runway, and the general impression that, like many who hate each other's guts, he and Tony Blair in fact have a good deal in common. Gordon's present unpopularity is merely a matter of failing to show his fairness, his greenishness, his commitment to liberty in their proper light. During ten years in office, New Labour have been working so hard for the rebirth of the nation that the poor things still haven't learned that what counts is presentation, presentation, presentation.

The answer, according to the Fabian Review article, is that "the party should have a period of calm to restore stability". After the period of calm, there should be "a Truman-style comeback", the victor of Nagasaki having gone on to an unexpected election win in 1948, thus providing a model for the victory over Daveybloke by Brown of Basra. Appropriately enough, Truman is the president credited by Gore Vidal with the overthrow of the American republic and the foundation of the present-day National Security State. Brown should, "like Harry Truman before the 1948 US election ... relish the mantle". Despite having no detectable meaning, or perhaps because it has no detectable meaning, this "could be precisely the way to make the political fightback Labour needs". The comeback, according to the Fabian Review article, should involve "no more mistakes", which sounds like jolly good thinking by the author of the Fabian Review article. Brown should then set out "the positive argument for change", being, apparently, in profound disagreement with the policies he has helped put into place over the past ten years.

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