The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Monday, March 10, 2008

What's Good for BAE Systems is Good for Britain

Well, here's a thing: a cost-cutting exercise by the Ministry of Democratisation means that, no matter how much respect and gratitude the Royal Air Force gets, it cannot service its own aircraft. Some time before the Government closed down Britain's only remaining dedicated military hospital, the Government closed down its main facility for servicing Tornado jets. This was in 2005, when Tony's various wars were apparently going so well that somebody with a spreadsheet, a very long way from Iraq and Afghanistan, calculated that it would be better to save five hundred million pounds over ten years than keep the facility open. Another facility, at RAF Marham, was apparently given a new coat of paint in an effort to compensate; but all the same, there was an outcry from trade unions, MPs, the all-party Commons defence committee and, no doubt, any watching aliens for whom the actions of the present Government must be the equivalent of one of Sylvester Stallone's more unsuccessful comedies. Since the cutbacks, by some unpredictable quirk of fate, the RAF has had to increase its operations in Iraq, and "the net result is that there is insufficient capacity available at RAF Marham to meet the full requirements of the operational and training task". Accordingly, the Ministry of Peace Through Strength is planning (I almost said conspiring, nasty suspicious old sourpuss that I am) to employ its old friend BAE Systems, at a cost to be determined by BAE Systems, doubtless with due attention to the national interest, and paid out of the Conflict Prevention Fund. The Conflict Prevention Fund consists of "money set aside to clear landmines and remove arms from conflict zones"; and no doubt, in New New Labour's eyes, the business of servicing Tornado jets falls into much the same sort of category. Fortunately, the most important part of the enterprise is already being dealt with: "Defensive news briefs are being developed to counter adverse media comment".

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