Auricular Intensification, Opportunicitious Renewalisation

The Glorious Successor has give his analysis of the causes behind the electoral mauling and has noted that, in the face of rising food and energy costs, he feels our pain. "I feel the hurt they feel," he said, referring to the proles. "We are standing up for people facing difficulties," he said, referring to the banks. A six-figure salary and some waiting company directorships will do that to a man, no doubt; but then, Gordon has always been a little too good for this world: "Perhaps I have spent too much time ... looking at the detail to solving people's problems". He said that "over the last 10 years, I have shown that I can take people through difficult circumstances, including economic problems", despite the decade-long boom in favourable statistics which, until recently, was his sole responsibility. He also believes - apparently he is not altogether certain - that "the real Gordon Brown is someone who is standing up at all times for hard-working families in this country", although we have yet to learn what reliable gauge he uses to determine just how hard all these producers of future soldiers and stockbrokers really do work in order to merit their privileged status. "That's what the dividing line in politics is," he said, as though Daveybloke's Cuddly Conservatives couldn't match him platitude for platitude on the wonders of family life and the creeping evil of non-reproductive singularity. He is equally forward-looking and visionary on environmental matters and the free market: "Clearly also there needs to be some international effort with Opec to get the oil price down." As always, however, the main problem is one of salesmanship: "showing people we have a vision of the future that will carry the country - optimistically in my view - into its next phase", said phase being composed of "a fair deal for working families, helping people get on to the first rung of the housing ladder, helping people get opportunity in education - more universities and more colleges - the big building blocks for the future that we are putting in place". Gosh. And he's been listening and leading for over twenty-four hours now.