The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

One Wheel On His Wagon, And He's Still Rolling Along

The Glorious Successor's new-found complacency over his marginally improved poll ratings appears to have got the better of him, even unto the potentially fatal extent of allowing somebody to loosen the straps on Butcher Hoon. Hoon, the Minister for War and the Colonies at the time of Operation Iraq Liberation, was kicked into merciful near-silence as Minister for Europe; which, in post-Thatcherite Britain, is more or less the equivalent of being made Ambassador to Wonga Wonga Land. He was then promoted to chief whip, until the resignation of the former transport secretary at this year's party crap-and-clap festival somehow incited Gordon to try and demonstrate that New New Labour has more embarrassing presences to its name than Ruth Kelly.

Asked about the possibility that the recession might cause more delays to public transport projects than even the requirements of private finance and Britishness might warrant, Hoon responded that he was simply not going to be drawn down the path of pessimism. Hoon didn't win the war against terror in Iraq by being drawn down the path of pessimism, and Hoon does not intend to be drawn down the path of pessimism now. Hoon magnanimously failed to see any particular reason why parliament shouldn't be informed of "significant project delays", but prudently failed to give any guarantee that inconvenient facts would not be suppressed to suit the Government's will and whim, according to precedent. Hoon has no sense of there being complacency at Network Rail, and apparently sees the company directors' bonuses as an incentive to learn lessons and implement them.

On the question of the continuing metastasis of Heathrow, Hoon said that "the main issue was deciding whether the economic advantages of an extra runway outweighed environmental concerns", since obviously environmental consequences do not have economic consequences. Hoon, who does not see it as his job to "tell people how they should or should not travel", but nonetheless intends to "promote public transport use", was also at pains to reassure those who have been "herded in like cattle" on crowded trains that their experiences are not typical. "Our railway system has become, in parts, the envy of Europe," Hoon said. It is possible, I suppose, that some Europeans envy Network Rail's system for incentivising the learning and implementation of lessons.

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