The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

An Unhappy Rendering

Well, here's a thing: it turns out that, in denying that British forces were collaborating in kidnap and torture, the Government has said the thing that was not. According to the Minister of War and the Colonies, Hutton the Thrift, some rotten apples in the SAS handed over a couple of apparent Pakistanis to the Americans, who then took them to a prison in Afghanistan where, as is customary, they are being held in "humane conditions" with access to the Red Cross. Somebody or other has known about this since 2004, but unfortunately the matter was buried in "lengthy papers" received by the serving Minister for Lesser Breeds and Minister of Unfitness for Purpose. "It is clear that the context provided did not highlight its significance at that point to the ministers concerned," said Hutton. In Standard English, this means that the anonymoids who drew up the document failed to take sufficient account of the Ministers' respective attention spans - clearly a regrettable error, but I'm sure no malice was involved. The Ministers in question were John Reid and Jack Straw, the degree of whose respect for both humane values and the law of the land is a matter of extensive public record.

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