Isle of the Blessed

Some of God's elect have warned that, as usual, the other cheek will not be turned. The island of Lewis, in the Hebrides, is to receive a Sunday ferry service for the first time; and the Protestant community, which is "staunchly Calvinist" (Christians are staunch; Muslims, atheists and other undesirables are militant) in its belief that man was made for the Sabbath and not the Sabbath for man, is filled with holy wrath. Many staunch believers "refuse to work, play sports, watch television, read anything other than the Bible or even drive a car except to reach church" on Sundays; apparently a catalogue of murder, swindling, inanity and excessive begetting is less restful when viewed on the box than when read on the page. The staunch ones have warned that the ferry service will provoke angry protests, in accordance with Christ's legal ruling at Matthew 5 xl. "The Western Isles are unique and are a Christian bulwark," fulminated John Roberts, the staunch director of the Lord's Day Observance Society. "Sunday sailing will shatter the uniqueness of the islands and cause unnecessary work", particularly as, despite Sunday being a day of rest, the Lord's chosen "will not lie down if the company plans to put profit before the law of God and break the Sabbath".