Trouble in Big School

As might be expected of a chap who believes so firmly in the responsibility of the individual, Britain's Head Boy has gone squeaking to the Beak and urged him to do something about the Sports Day sub-prefect with the rogue fag. Daveybloke's demands were backed in true-blue fashion by his personal gofer and toilet-seat warmer, Clegg Minor, who blabbed to all and sundry that an agreement was already in place. Shockingly, however, the old buzzard has refused to play the game, telling Daveybloke in effect to face his troubles like a prole. As Britain's Head Boy, Daveybloke does in fact have a special sort of sub-sub-prefect who is allowed to find chaps innocent of all misconduct, but thanks to the quality of the present form he hasn't had much to do, and it would be simply too awful if the affair were to be handled in the sort of butter-fingered fashion Daveybloke has come to expect from his minor minions. Why, one might just as well allow the Sports Day sub-prefect to investigate himself.