Switched Off

Some of Daveybloke's best chums have taken the opportunity afforded by a new biography to indulge in a bit of discreet back-stabbing. It appears that Daveybloke has a Big Society approach to government: sit back, relax and let the servants get on with it. One so-called ally said that "he is capable of switching off in a way that almost no other politician I know of can", and went on to describe how Daveybloke will occasionally interrupt his leisure activities to answer the telephone, read a newspaper or tell Ed Llewellyn to do such and such. Daveybloke also likes to play tennis with a machine he has named the Clegger, after another little robot which gave away its balls to the Conservative Party. Surprisingly for those who have witnessed Daveybloke's recent purple-faced splutterings in the Commons, he also "maintains an even temper when infuriated by pen-clicking, phone checking and transport delays" and is quick to apologise when he loses his temper, which is jolly statesmanlike of him, I'm sure. The biography is being serialised in the Murdoch Times, where its editing and presentation in these Leveson-haunted days will doubtless serve as a friendly reminder of where Britain's interests really lie.