The Curmudgeon


Friday, November 23, 2012

A Lifestyle Choice We Can't Afford

We all know it's hard being a member of the Conservative Party. The social stigma alone is considerable, and variously approaches the stigma attached to being a member of UKIP, the BNP or the Liberal Democrats. But is this an acceptable excuse?

It has become fashionable to believe that membership of the Conservative Party is a calamity that could happen to anyone - that the cretinous posturing of a Michael Gove or Boris Johnson, the thick-headed bullying of an Eric Pickles, the witless obduracy of a Theresa May are not, after all, personality traits which anyone would choose to have, and that people should not be held personally culpable for undesirable traits which were beaten into them at school, or which perhaps were inherited from Daddy along with all that purely spiritual poverty.

Nowadays, with the country in perpetual and unending crisis, we can no longer afford such a sentimental outlook. Faults may indeed be inherited or involuntary, but once they have become both obvious and destructive there can be no excuse for not attempting to repair them. True, the Conservative Party did once try to paper over its instinctive racism and sexism by appointing a token female Muslim as its co-chair; unfortunately the gesture was somewhat undercut by the fact that the token female Muslim it appointed happened to be Sayeeda Warsi.

On the unredeemed side, the party continues to allow into high office people such as the sociopathic fop David Cameron; the sniggering schoolboy George Osborne; the fatuous flunkey Jeremy Hunt; the empty barrel William Hague; the witless Chris Grayling; the pointless Philip Hammond; Iain Duncan Smith; and a vast bumbling array of psychological freaks and moral vegetables the like of which has rarely been seen in such concentrated form since the previous Labour government.

Liberal tolerance is all very well, but it is out of date and dangerously out of place when dealing with those who endanger the public, whether by endangering its safety through squabbling with the police, or by endangering its health through being Andrew Lansley. It is time for the taxpayer to stop giving these people a license to waste money and steal resources while at the same time incessantly fouling the media with ignorant complaints about how it's all someone else's fault. It is time to consider what might be a reasonable scale of sanctions for membership of the Conservative Party, and I suggest we start with something slightly harsher than a vote for a barely distinguishable opposition every five years or an occasional splatter of paint.

Perhaps, like the undeserving poor, they need humiliation, poverty and exile. Since so few of them have friends or communities, perhaps they need cutting off from their allies and conspiracies. Perhaps we might even consider bringing back the birch. Whatever it takes, this Party needs to be over.

Mel Rantsplatter


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